Property in Mumbai

Folks, I thought , I must share my views on properties in Mumbai with you. Today as we all know , property prices in Mumbai are going up and up and up. For a lot of people meeting me is like meeting a doctor at a party where all the forgotten itches are suddenly the topics of discussion.

This therefore is the time I scratch that itch. I feel that the prices will keep going up in the short run, then will drop and then will rise again. Why do I say that ?

Simple. I am seeing repeats of two phenomenons which I have seen before:

Symptom (1) I went to Kharghar the other day and decided on a whim to meet some of the builders there. I asked them about commercial properties there and was very shocked at the answer. (this was the answer given to me by 3 builders all of whom had properties next to each other being developed) The prices are Rs. 5500/- per Sq foot on average. (that’s not the shocking part) The sting comes in the tail where they say you have to make the full payment in 40 days. I therefore asked them when is the delivery and their answer was 15 months or so.

I whipped out my calculator and worked out that at 15% per annum, I was looking at another 22.5% so that means base price for this property would be Rs. 6737/50. Not a very appetizing proposition when I consider the last time we had this kind of dadagiri about paying upfront etc 80% of construction came to a halt soon after.

>>>> An incident from the past reminds me of when I was looking at investment in Mira Road years ago when there was a boom there. People I know bought properties for Rs. 800/- and sold them for Rs. 1000/- per sq foot a few days later. I therefore like any other hot blooded Mumbaiite went out to explore my fortune.

First shock, when I went to the main street of Mira Road, both sides of the road had nothing but estate agent signs as far as the eye could see. Every Pan shop, every medical shop, every small grocery store had a estate agency board outside it. A complete honour guard of yellow boards on both sides of the street.

Anyways we walked into one of the agents who was a friend of a friend and had gotten them a good deal. He took us to a place on the main road which was facing some open fields. Standing by my car, he pointed to a small board about a Km. in the middle of the fields, so small we could just barely see the red colour on it. He said that’s at Rs. 800/- a sq foot. We asked him if he was mad there was no road leading up to it as yet and the plot was deep in the middle of the fields, and his answer is typical of what I received in Khargar.

He said sir , you're lucky to get even this, its on second sale. No more first sales left in all Mira Road. By the time the buildings which are starting from this road reach there in 3 years you will get double your money or more.

The next month or so prices went down to rock bottom and the building came to a halt but 10 years or so down, the property prices are back up and the building is now about Rs. 1800 or so.

Symptom (2): The banks are continuously raising the rates on their loans without too much fuss. I was with someone the other day who said he didn’t give a rats ass about the rising rates since he was on a fixed interest rate. I asked him to read the fine print in his loan document. I had already recd my shock when my so called fixed rate loan went from 8.75% to 10.5 % since I had taken a No documents required LAP.

Today’s newspaper had a very important article which says that the inter bank call rates have peaked at 12.5-13% . This of course means the rate will be farmed off to the customers since the banks are in the business of making money.

I have seen this once before in London , when the interest rates rose suddenly. This caused a cascade effect on the properties market since people simple stopped buying and therefore prices crashed. In fact a lot of my friends had gone and thrown their house keys at the banks doors since with rising interest rates the amount balance on their properties was more than the property was worth.

The silver lining:

The interest rates dipped again and London property prices are higher today than ever before and the people who held on are the eventual winners.

Its only the inevitable dip in the Indian market when the men get seperated from the boys and the rats desert the property ship.

Problem is this kind of holding on takes money to feed the banks and inner strength to believe that the market will come up. Me personally I would prefer to buy when the market dips. Less heartburn.

Taxing Times

I was watching the television the other day and saw something which amazed me. The railways minister has announced a relief package of the people crushed under the railway bridge due to the stupidity of the contractor.

This was amazing, India seems to be on the path to becoming a developed country but still the stupidity of the masses never ceases to amaze me. Where does all this money for these ex-gratia payments comes from ? It comes from us the tax payer. The Railway minister is buying his votes using us the tax paying public as his personal bank. This is repeated with the BMC and the home ministry and each and every department which fouls up. Each of them showing their largesse with our money.

Compare this with England where Railtel screwed up. 3 accidents and the Govt wound them up. Told them they didn't deserve to run a railway network.

Would our babus have that courage to own up to their issues. In any developed country , the babus responsible for this foul up where lives were lost would be out on their asses faster than you can say "Fodder Scam". All that is noted is that an enquiry commission is to be established and three people are suspended. Suspended mind you , not fired. It will be interesting to know how long it is before these people are reinstated via the back door once the fuss has died down.

This is typical of our world where the only people who have the power to rectify a wrong are the people who did the wrong.

Next time theres an accident or a flood or any other screw up by a government dept lets get them to pay out of their pockets. Once the fines start biting into that "living beyond their known means earnings" we should see at least some semblance of order.

Banking Blues

Folks, I remember when it used to be a pleasure to visit a bank branch. The people on the front desks men and women were clean cut, fresh as roses, MBA aromaed young people. The managers were middle aged behind glass walls looking out at the world who sent out signals that your money was safe and solid with them.

I remember when the ANZ Grindlays Bank at Waterfield Road in Mumbai had a certain young lady of Germanic / Indian decent who was always formally dressed and she literally lit the world up every time she smiled. I think almost every young hot blooded man in Bandra visited the branch at some time or the other with the faint hope that he would get a smile from her. She was perhaps the talk of many a party time one drink too many scenarios. And she was not the only one. The men were spit and polished with model like looks which made many a young lady visit the bank once too often. Banking in International or privatized banks in those days literally came with a smile.

The other day I walked into ICICI Bandra branch after a long time and got a shock of my life. After standing in line to draw some money from the cash counter I was approached by a young man who would not have looked out of place if Aamir Khan played him in one of his tapori roles. All of those warnings about people being robbed just after drawing money by some ruse or the other went through my mind. I double checked my pockets to ensure my money was still there. Wonder of wonders, he was trying to sell ICICI direct or something.

I looked up and got a even bigger shock. I suddenly noticed that the whole branch staff looked like they were regular users of pimple creams and came from mid Dharavi. The dress sense was through the floor. Someone should have told the girl at the first desk that kurtis made of fluorescent shocking pink chiffon with fluorescent blue highlights and rhinestone sequins trim, which made me dive for my sunglasses, are not office wear and definitely not bank officer wear.

ATTN. HR Dept: I know there is a staff shortage but hiring kids with bad acne, no sense of bank manners and even worse skin is no solution. Also if you allow them to wear their own clothes , please please remember that the class of people they are interacting with in Bandra and lay off the fluorescent clothes. It scares us that our money is in hands of these people.

Joke - Alcohol the new age solution

Pic 1: it takes years of practice to do this asana.

Pic2: it takes only 8 pegs of whiskey to do the above asana.

Joke- Alcohol Effects & Remedies

1. *Symptom*: Cold and humid feet.
*Cause*: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
*Cure*: Manoeuvre glass until open end is facing upward.

2. *Symptom*: The wall facing you is full of lights.
*Cause*: You're lying on the floor.
*Cure*: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. *Symptom*: The floor looks blurry.
*Cause*: You're looking through an empty glass.
*Cure*: Quickly refill with your favourite beverage.

4. *Symptom*: The floor is moving.
*Cause*: You're being dragged away.
*Cure*: At least ask where they're taking you.

5. *Symptom*: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
*Cause*: You have your glass on your ear.
*Cure*: Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. *Symptom*: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
*Cause*: You're in an ambulance.
*Cure*: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

7. *Symptom*: Your dad and all your brothers look strange.
*Cause*: You're in the wrong house.
*Cure*: Ask if they can point you to your house

The Lion and the monkey

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.

The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.

On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas.Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.The lion was so furious; it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him "you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management? What nonsense is this? Why are you delivering bananas to me?'

The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ... did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!

Better to be a Lion in your own country than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!

Personal names

Jugs Suraiya today wrote an article in the Sunday Times. His articles normally appear on the editorial pages and are at times an endless source of insightfulness.

Reading the article which was all about how people all over the place have started shoving their names and all other personal details at you, reminded me of one of my pet hates in life.

I somehow or the other hate it when a snotty nosed kid who is still wet behind the ears addresses you by your first name. I have cancelled orders with suppliers who have gone out and hired these snotty nosed kids who immediately upon meeting me start with "Sanjay nice to meet you, ......". Say what? Where is the "Mr ......, nice to meet you". I am not his childhood buddy with whom he swapped marbles. I haven’t given him the right to address him by my first name.

The problem perhaps lies with the new generation of MBA teachers, who tell their students get on first name basis with your client, break the walls. Someone should tell them, we like those walls. In fact I teach my staff, please keep the wall. You are a supplier and he is a buyer and vice versa. If the wall of respect is given, it maintains a formality which is essential to the relationship.

Later on if you’re the buyer, you can twist the screws if the deliverables are not met and if you are the seller and fail to meet your deliverables it allows the buyer to address you in a tone which would perhaps have irreparable damage on the relationship. Change that relationship to one of informality and the strictness of reprimand is gone.

So all you snotty nosed kids out there listen and listen carefully. Next time you address someone by their first name, you may just have lost the order to the competition.

By all thats holy

On the day I write this Aistair, the Carter Road wonder, has just been rearrested since it has been found that he had his licence made using forged documents when he was younger.

Everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame and it seems that the religious are no different, we now have the whole catholic church on his side. We have the clergy hollering from the rooftops that it is no big deal if he's using forged documents, half the world is doing it. The honourable reverend further goes on to say that Alistair is being pickd on just because hes a christian.

Right on Reverend, at this rate perhaps the Punjabis should be out on the streets howling blue murder since Monica Bedi was not only arrsted she was found guilty of using forged documents too. Perhaps if Alistar gets away with it , she could use this as a precedent.

Imagine Abu Salem, standing up and saying, "So what if I was in Portugal on a forged passport your honour, everyone uses forged documents, I'm just being persecuted since I'm Muslim".

The height of irony would be if it is found that the judge to whom hes saying it got there using a fake OBC certificate to get advantage of the reservations.

Burning Issue

Yesterday the Deccan Queen was burnt due to some unknown atrocity supposedly done on Dalits. 90 buses bore the brunt of the fury of a mob gone power mad. Various Dalit leaders were seen all across television screens talking all kinds of nonsense about the downtrodden.


Perhaps we should remove the reservations and quotas and see how exactly downtrodden they are ? However our castrated government has no B**ls and ergo reservation is here to stay.



Some news articles said it was over the desecration of a statue of Bhabasahebh Ambedkar.

I am not sure as to what they desecrated but from the shape of the restored statue , perhaps it would have been better to leave it as it was. The shape and proportions of the new statue would perhaps in any civilised country be an affront rather than a tribute to such a great man.

What strikes me is how many times leaving out the annual birth / death anniversaries do these same people who rioted actually clean the statue over which they rioted. How many times do they garland it ?

I think back to the time Mumbai was the centre where all people cared about was money. Our god was Mammon and you didnt care if your neighbour was Hindu, Muslim, Christian or from Mars. All you cared about was how you were going to earn your first million.

It is said that heritage bogies of the train were destroyed and priceless artifacts lost due to this mindless rioting based upon imagined slurs of caste and creed. What a waste.

For two days offices shut early, people panicked, millions of rupees were lost. What a waste.

Some other people said it was due to the rape of two Dalit women in UP while the village watched, if that is the case the papers are full of rapes, perhaps the Gujaratis or some other peace loving caste will come out of their homes next. Should we condone such flimsy excuses as reasons to get away with such nonsense. Perhaps we should have seen a riot from the Muslims when a woman was raped by her father in law and she was ordered to go back to the man who raped her rather than her husband. In this case the world watched , not just the village.

I frankly feel the rot started on the day the Shiv Sena broke a trophy in broad daylight in the BCCI office and their leaders were caught on camera and nothing was done. It showed people that our police were a powerless bunch of sycophants bowing and scarping to the "SARKAARs' of this world. Its all gone downhill from there.

While I write this the news is showing pictures of Ludhiana, Taran Taran and Surat where various acts of mindless voilence are taking place. The scene in Taran taran is gory in so much as you can clearly see the brandishing of swords and hacking by the akali activists of men who of course in turn are weilding rods but are being slaughtered. All of this on camera in gory details with the police clearly showing as overpowered and overwhelmed and able to do nothing but go through the pretend actions of trying to pacify things. its clear to see that their hearts are not in it.

It will be interesting to note how many of these sword weilding glory seekers are arrested.

Perhaps I should file a request under RTI ?

Happiness is a cigar called……..

When I was young I studied in England in the 1970s and there was a famous advertisement on television featuring a cigar. The general theme was that on a day when everything that could go wrong went wrong and then they showed an anticlimax of a person pulling out the cigar unwrapping it lightling it and suddenly you could see the cares lift off his shoulders.

The key line was “happiness is a cigar called hamlet” I think that personifies the wisdom of life

Life is like that, there will be days when everything goes wrong. When that happens learn from the advertisement, lay back relax , even smoke a cigar if you wish.

There is a very old story about Akbar and Birbal. It is said that one day Akbar was in a very philosophical mood. He called Birbal into his antechamber and told him “ Hey, Birbal There are times when I get very happy and there are times when I get very sad. Give me a magic formula so that I remain even tempered. Something which will make me sad when I’m too happy and happy when I’m too sad.”

Birbal went away deep in thought. 7 days later he presented Akbar with a ring and told him that there was something engraved on the inside of it and to look at it if he was ever too happy or too sad.

The next time Akbar was over joyous, he took off his ring and looked in it. Immediately his face fell and he lost his laughter. A few days later, the king’s favorite horse died and Akbar was very sad. He again took off the ring and immediately his face changed.

Do you know what was written inside the ring, It was “this too shall pass’. If you are too happy remember that whatever you are very happy with be it the birth of a child or the winning of a lottery , the child will die one day the money from the lottery will run out. Whatever be it , it will pass.

If you are too sad due to the loss of a horse or the loss in business, the horse will soon be replaced or the business will again rise. Whatever it is happiness or sadness it never lasts.

True enlightenment is the understanding that nothing matters.

The meek shall inherit the earth

A few days ago, something has occurred which brings my thoughts to the subject of holiness and meekness.

One of India’s contempory saints called Asaram bapu perhaps one of the finest orators alive and someone I personally respect a lot was involved in an icident which brings to the forefront the holiness of todays religious leaders.

Asaram Bapu was traveling from Ahemdabad a city in Western India via Jet airways one of Indias leading airlines. Following normal procedures officals insisted on frisking the holy man. Suddenly we see an outcry of workers protesting as to why their leader was frisked. He should have been treated like a VIP and not frisked ?

What shocks me is that Asaram Bapu was silent on this whole incident where Passengers at Ahemdabad airport were inconvenienced just because some people felt that a person they feel is a VIP was frisked. This sycophantic attitude where a person feels that by disrupting passenger traffic at an airport will somehow buy him a shortcut to heaven if he protests in the name of someone he feels has achived enlightenment.

Whats even sadder is that the incident caries an uncanny flashback of the incident of Narendra Swami who was refused entry onto an aircraft carrying a wooden staff ( A staff beyong a certain length is considered a dangerous weapon by all Airlines across the world). His followers felt it was an insult that he was refused entry carrying the staff which is his symbol of office ?

Is this a kingdom where the staff is his scepter or the sign of his royalty ? If the staff is so important why not travel by train where the carrying of staff is not forbidden ? But that may be a problem since there are so many should for him to save and so little time ? Spending those extra hours on the train would be a waste of his valuable time ?

Perhaps we should learn from the Pope is driven around in a customer made vehicle looks like a Mercedes ( [check the pic] not a meek brand by any chance, perhaps we could have bent the rule if he chose a FIAT), who lives in a golden place with an plethora of guards and the trappings of royalty forgetting the very words “ the meek shall inherit the earth”.

Perhaps the Pope does not need to inherit the earth since to all intents and purposes he already owns it.

It’s the poor souls who live in dreams of tomorrow who need to be given the thought to make their miserable lives worth something.

Yamini 2 day wonder

With due respect to coverage from rediff.com



September 04, 2006 14:36 IST
Fifteen seconds of fame on TV could land Chandigarh collegian Yamini Sharma the lead role in Satish Kaushik's new film Tere Sang, unless there is a luckier girl out there somewhere.












Yamini Sharma

In any case, it was Yamini's innocent face and expressions that grabbed the director's attention when he saw her first during a TV news bulletin. Yamini was taking part in a students' protest against a ban of the use of mobile phones in colleges when the TV news camera captured her. She has become the talk of the town ever since Kaushik called her and offered a chance to audition for the lead.

"I was shocked and excited when I got a phone call from Satishji. I told my parents about it. They summoned me for an in-house discussion. It took us three days to weigh the pros and cons of going ahead with a career in films. The whole family supported me and it helped me reach the right decision," she said.

"I would be glad to accept an offer from a director of Satish Kaushik's standing. I will travel to Mumbai for the screen test," she told rediff.com over phone from Chandigarh.
In any case, it was Yamini's innocent face and expressions that grabbed the director's attention when he saw her first during a TV news bulletin. Yamini was taking part in a students' protest against a ban of the use of mobile phones in colleges when the TV news camera captured her. She has become the talk of the town ever since Kaushik called her and offered a chance to audition for the lead.

"I was shocked and excited when I got a phone call from Satishji. I told my parents about it. They summoned me for an in-house discussion. It took us three days to weigh the pros and cons of going ahead with a career in films. The whole family supported me and it helped me reach the right decision," she said.

"I would be glad to accept an offer from a director of Satish Kaushik's standing. I will travel to Mumbai for the screen test," she told rediff.com over phone from Chandigarh.

Drunken' Drive

I am amazed at the publicity that one road accident has garnered,. That too one not involving a celebrity. Perhaps the power of the press is really here to stay.

I can understand Salman Khan hit and run incident getting this coverage after all he's the shirtless wonder. But a snotty nosed kid called Alistair is suddenly now the centre of a whole whirlwind of media attention. The smirk on his face clearly says " You cant touch me and when I come out of this I'll be rich and famous , where will you be ?"

Perhaps we will see him landing a role a la Yamini of Chandiargh university protest fame (see seperate entry under "Yamini 2 day wonder"). I wonder if Satish Kaushik is watching the media coverage.
The whole hullabaloo started on 11th Nov when four drunken teenagers did what other teenagers do, run at full lick across the clear streches of Carter Road.

Their rear axle broke suddenly at one of the turns (at least thats what his lawyer claims) and he ran over 4 people sleeping on the footpath.

There are 1 question which immediately come to mind out here is:
Should Alistair really be convicted for murder or culpable homicide or whatever else they cook up ?

After all the real question here lies as to why were the workers sleeping on the footpath 4 months after the road construction was over.

1 year down the line we would perhaps have seen it become a permanent structure and then 5 years later Vliasrao Deshmukh would perhaps have extended the cut off line for Slum redevelopment to include them. The precedent is not far , just about a kilometer down the road towards the Fisherman's colony side of Carter Road ( Khar Dhanda side) , is a row of huts which were obviously temporary when they were constructed but are now almost of a permanent structure in nature.

Anyone who wishes to defend the people sleeping on the streets should visit Reay road in South Bombay where we have duplex structures with people washing, cooking and doing the unmentionables right in the street. Its a complete lifestyle thwey live with electricity , water and of course cable so that they do not miss their daily quote of Balaji Serials.

As a side point I wonder what they will do when CAS hits their section since Reay Road is bank plonk in the middle of CAS regulated areas. With set-top boxes costing Rs. 4000/- + it will be interesting study to see how many boxes are sold in that area.

One last thing I would like to say in Alistars' particular case:
Footpaths or what is left for them are for walking not for driving on, learn that or you'll never pass your driving test when you are old enough.