Made in heaven

After a short break due to "technical reasons", I'm back. I would like to start this new season (as they say in television circles) with a story about a draconian 1960's law which the Government is examining the possibility of amending and re-introducing.

The law is called the  "Assam Second Guest Control Act, 1966"   Basically what this act does is say that you need to restrict your guests to 25 persons only at any gathering and not more than 100 guests to a  wedding ACROSS INDIA since austerity is the need of the day.

Even if we overlook the fact that the average Great Indian Wedding gives employment and cash flows to thousands and thousands of people directly and millions indirectly, we need to understand that the only people  who are overdoing it are the very jokers who are even considering this ridiculous concept. 

Will limiting the number of guests really solve the problem at hand? Upon examination we find that the problem in short is the fact that we have had food wastage losses of 58,000 Crores last year. This is food rotting in the godowns and not food left over after any lavish celebrations.

I know this 58,000 Crores is a tiny amount when we compare it to the amount of scams coming out, but it means that millions of people go hungry to bed every night in a country which has that much grain to waste. 

Who is to blame? According to our Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar its the in-eptitude of our Govt storage dept which I think means Food Corporation of India. As on Jan 1 this year, 10,688 lakh tonnes of food grains were found damaged in FCI depots, enough to feed over six lakh people for over 10 years.

As usual our bunch of jokers at the centre have caught the wrong end of the stick, they are now talking about banning more than X number of guests at any wedding using this draconian law as if the left over food is the cause for this shortage. 

However I agree that austerity is required in certain sectors, especially when I read headlines like the following:

1) The big fat Indian wedding is making news today; the marriage reception of Maharashtra's ex-Revenue Minister Narayan Rane's son Nitesh became the hot talk of the town as it was not only a star studded event but over 700 master chefs were especially called from different places like Malwan, Delhi, Agra, Amritsar, Hyderabad and Italy too.

The reception was expected to be attended by nearly 20,000 people and special world cuisine was served to the guests. At the Turf Club, Mahalaxmi racecourse on Sunday, B-Town celebrities were seen attending the most lavish wedding event of the year.

The food served included Lebanese, Japanese, Malwani, Hyderabadi and Thai cuisines.

A chef was quoted as saying, "The Ranes have personally tasted each item before finalising the menu. To give a Malwani flavour to the wedding, they have flown down 150 chefs from Malwan to prepare traditional delicacies."

2) Bharatiya Janata Party chief Nitin Gadkari’s son Nikhil weds Rutuja, a Sanskrit Master’s student, at a four-day-long lavish wedding ceremony and the inaugural function begins here Wednesday. Over one lakh invitation cards have been sent out and it is expected that nearly three lakh people may attend this mammoth reception.

3) Laloo's daughter Misa: When Laloo Prasad Yadav's daughter Misa Bharti tied the knot way back in 1999 Bihar wore a festive look. A special flight of the national carrier brought most of the senior political leaders of different hues to take part in the wedding. All hotels, guest houses and resthouses in the state capital had been booked for the marriage. Roads and trees near the Chief Minister's residence had been decorated with lamp shades. Hundreds of people from other parts of the state were going round the area to have a glimpse of the marriage of the millennium.

4)  Jayalalitha's son: In 1994, Tamil Nadu's former Chief Minister Jayaram Jayalalitha adopted the nephew of her aide Sasikala and she doted on him. According to reports, she had personally called on actor Sivaji Ganesan to ask for his granddaughter Sathyalakshmi's hand in marriage for Sudhakaran. In September 1995 Jayalalitha herself monitored the wedding, which made national news for its lavishness. There were reports that more than 100,000 people, many of them Jayalalitha supporters were brougtht from villages all across the state for the wedding in special buses. At least 12,000 of the guests sat down for the lunch, which was served by 3,500 cooks and waiters.

Dear Ministers, JAAGO RE, I am very afraid that if this blind "let them eat cake" attitude continues we may see Jasmine style civil uprisings or revolt in India since hunger can drive people to extremes. 

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Joke of the week:

The sensex is like a strapless bra. Half the people are wondering whats holding it up whereas the other half are waiting for it to drop so that they can grab the opportunity with both hands.

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